Who is Eugene Delgaudio and Why Does He Keep Emailing Me?

These emails have somehow managed to weasel their way around my spam filter, and upon actually opening one I found a little dose of comedy that I was not expecting. Upon further investigation, I discovered that I had received no fewer than fifteen emails from this creep. Who the HELL is Eugene Delgaudio?! I figured I'd post a few snippets of this golden material for you to point and laugh at:

But our nation has not defended them from the filth of Homosexual perversion.
Yes, I’m talking about the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
The U.S. Military has sacrificed so much for us, and our government repaid them with disgrace. Now radical homosexuals are not only allowed to serve openly in uniform, but celebrated for their perversion. The current president is encouraging them to go as far as they can to homosexualize the armed forces.

 Ooooh what about Obama's secret plan!!!

Apparently Obama is secretly planning to saturate the federal government with radical homosexuals, by bowing to the demands of the Homosexual Lobby and appointing the transgender Amanda Simpson to the Department of Commerce.

This is hardly Obama’s first indication of his desire to payback the Homosexual Lobby, such as the hiring and subsequent refusal to fire the radical homosexual “Safe Schools Czar” Kevin Jennings.
But it serves as a reminder of the real threat out there. . . Barney Frank’s Gay Bill of Special Rights.

Daycares, churches, private schools, businesses, etc…. none would be exempt from forced hiring of radical homosexuals if the Gay Bill of Special Rights passes.

That's right! tick the box if you're a radical homosexual.... no? Well sorry, we have to meet our radical homosexual quota by law! Send in the drag queens!

But wait, it gets so much weirder

I see well-known agents of the radical Homosexual Lobby everywhere.  They are huddled in dark corners scheming and plotting.  They met secretly with newly elected members of Congress in hopes of tempting them to advance their perverse agenda with campaign cash and the promise of votes.

BUAHAHAHAHAHA!! scheming and plotting in dark corners my friends! Evilly cackling along with the Joker and the Riddler! Hey I always thought that suit was a little too tight.....

Oh go on just a few more

Even elementary school children will be forced to learn new "lessons" in favor of homosexuality -- all the way down to kindergarten.
Children that age should never be exposed to these disgusting sex acts.  They will be permanently scarred!
And as horrible as this all is, it gets worse.
Not only will students be subjected to Homosexual Education, but they will have to undergo "training."
In fact, parents, teachers and students are all going to be "trained" by the school district to buy into radical homosexual ideology!

That's right! Gay porn in all classrooms people! Who's with me! No one? Strawman, how about you?

But of course, no internet bigot rant would be complete without a plea for monies

In the past, the radical homosexuals have attempted to kill me, even threatening and stalking my family.  However, all that did was make me more determined than ever to fight them. But now they want to take supporters like you out of the fight. That’s why I’m desperate for you to send a contribution of $50 or even $100 today.  I need your help right away, so I ask you to send whatever you can afford today.

Everyone, point at laugh at the sad little man and his pathetic little conspiracies. I would feel sorry for him and wish him some therapy if what he was saying wasn't so full of hate and if he wasn't doing his very best to make the world so miserable for millions of innocent people.

This last one I recognized from a Pharyngula post, and a little more digging made me realize that we were all automatically signed up for Mr. Delgaudio's internet spluge by taking a family values survey. Thanks PZ!

Anyway I think I've managed to stop the email flow by unsubscribing. If that doesn't work either, maybe this post will have a Part II shortly.

Until then, lets look at the only sliver of a silver lining in all of this: the tiny bit of comedy brought to us from somewhere unexpected.