Don’t even
ask me how this topic happened to pop into my head, it is a (fun? defective?)
part of my personality to run with a topic in my head and not let it go until I
follow it to its logical conclusion, and is one of the main reasons that I
started this blog. It happens when there is an apparent conflict in my head,
and as soon as I spot one it needs to be resolved.
The premise is this: I am one of those feminists
that believes women should not be demonized because they want to take naked
pictures or go into porn. Some women are exhibitionists by nature, they love it and their
thoughts and opinions should not be judged differently because of it, any more
than you should judge a woman stupid just because she’s blonde or a black man
uneducated because of his accent. Yes it is true that there is some very
misogynistic, violent and disgusting porn out there done by actresses that are
drugged or have serious emotional problems, but that is an entirely different
issue and certainly does not represent the entire sex industry. You can fight
exploitative porn without thinking that porn itself is harmful or misogynistic
in itself, and I am one of those people. When I hear stories of women getting
fired because they did porn once or enjoy burlesque dancing
it sickens
me.
This
position being firmly held in my mind, I realized that the contradiction came
up when I realized that if a close family member like my mother or my daughter
came to me and told me that they were thinking of doing porn, I would have a
problem with it. Well why is that? If I truly believe that there is nothing
inherently wrong with doing porn, why would I not want someone I care about to
do it? I should support them, not try to convince them not to, unless there is
still a part of me that is actually not OK with the sex industry. So, where
does the problem lie?
I suppose
that it comes from the idea that I would rather my daughter, my best friend or
whatever would have more opportunities at her disposal. I would want my
daughter to be educated, have a job in which her mind is valued, not her body. I
would never want my daughter to have to “resort” to porn, or stripping, because
she feels there are no other options. I don’t want my loved ones to be
objectified, but most importantly I would not want them to have such low
self-esteem that they would want to
be considered an object, or less important. I would never want them to feel
that they don’t deserve better, or (as would be the case for a daughter) to
fall into something they don’t really want to do and have to suffer the
consequences of those choices later in life.
However,
really thinking about it, I realized that when you think of such a situation
you automatically assume that those would be the reasons your
daughter/mother/best friend would go into the sex industry, and there I am
making a huge mistake which is not fair to many. If my daughter really loved
the sex industry, if it is something that inspires her and truly makes her
happy, I think I would support her. If she goes into it empowered, proud of
herself and with no less self-esteem than she would going into any other job, I
would be fine with her choice and defend it to anyone who dares tell her she
can’t do it. I’m sure I would never actually be able to watch it, that goes a
little too far for me, and of course I will have to have a daughter to put this
theory to the test, but I hope to be a better person than to ever deny my child
the right to choose her own path in life.
What are
your thoughts on the subject, on porn itself? What would you think if you’re
family wanted to get into porn?
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