I've been talking about some quasi-feminist issues quite a lot recently, but I want to address just one more before I move on to some other things. I admit, this is going to be a short little rant, I was planning a much more complicated post but I am up to my ass in work at the moment so I have very little time to do this right now. I promise I will be more attentive very soon.
I wanted to talk about people who get outraged at men who undress women with their eyes, and men responding by saying "well don't dress so provocatively then!" I have some very mixed feelings about the whole discussion that I wanted to put out there.
First of all guys, be honest, if a woman is attractive it really doesn't matter what she's wearing, if she's not reeking from a week without showering and doesn't have dried egg and blood on her raggedy grey sweatshirt, you're going to undress her in your mind anyway. You're a red-blooded male and your mind just goes there. However when you're called on it you get extremely defensive, saying it's not you're fault that hussy has the nerve to wear a push-up bra, and anyway why do you feminazis want castrated men coasting through the halls anyway!!! Here's the thing, women think about sex too. A lot.
Relating to the fact that I am particularly busy these days, I was in my fifth meeting/seminar of the day with two more still to go, so of course my mind started to wander. The man talking was, lets face it, kinda cute, and I began undressing him in my mind. Oh how horribly sexist of me! While he was going on about scientific research I was pondering the various things I might do to him on that lovely desk. Pure fantasy of course, I'm happily in love with a perfectly wonderful man and would never dream of approaching this guy in real life. Even if I was single it still would never happen, he's not actually my type at all, but when you're mind wanders it just goes there. It says "I'm bored, I want to think about sex. Hmm he'll do for my mind fantasy!" For shame for shame for shame.
So now that the secret's out it looks even worse for us. Well fuck it if you do it too then WHY THE HELL are you busting our balls for doing the same to you women?!! See, SEE you're the sexist ones! You want unequal treatment I knew it!!! I'll tell you what the difference is, my darlings. The inherent difference is in the ability to multitask. Why do you think us women are able to keep it on the down-low?
When I'm fantasizing about the lovely man who happens to be giving the talk at the time, I can still listen to what he is saying. I'm not blankly staring at him with an obvious dog-face of arousal. I don't blankly fixate on his ass or crotch the way you guys go for the boobs. I still follow what he's talking about, take notes, while all the time wondering if he's a boxers or briefs man. Most importantly, his appearance doesn't influence my perception of him as a scientist or a professional. I don't think that his deserving of my taking him seriously is inveresly correlated with his attractiveness. The two things are completely seperate, and therein you fellas need to take a lesson.
Learn to oggle a woman minus the oggling part. Respect her as much as she is deserving of respect, no more because she wears glasses or no less because she has blond hair and nice boobs. Learn to still hear what she's saying and evaluate her worth as a professional regardless of what she may look like naked, and no one will give a shit what goes on in your head. Don't think that (most rational) women are going to try to become the thought police, it's just that we so often have to deal with our work being judged based on our appearance that we might come off as being prudes, but we're not. Just separate the two and you'll never get called on it again, because no one will ever know what's going on in your head if it doesn't show on your face.
Word to the wise ;)